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As parents and caregivers, we often find ourselves watching children play and quietly wondering, “Should they be playing together more?” or “Why does my child prefer to play alone?” These questions are incredibly common, and reassuringly, the answers are often rooted in healthy, typical child development.
Two important and often misunderstood play styles in the early years are independent play and parallel play. Understanding what these are and why they matter can help us better support children, particularly neurodivergent children, without placing unnecessary pressure on them.
What Is Independent Play?
Independent play is when a child plays on their own, deeply absorbed in what they are doing. This might look like building with blocks, lining up figures, solving a puzzle, or engaging in imaginative play solo.
Far from being something to “fix,” independent play supports:
- Confidence and autonomy
- Concentration and problem-solving
- Creativity and imagination
- Emotional regulation
For many children, especially those who are neurodivergent, independent play offers a sense of calm, predictability, and control. It is often where children feel safest to explore and learn at their own pace.
What Is Parallel Play?
Parallel play typically emerges between the ages of 18 months and 3 years, but it can continue well beyond this, particularly for children with additional needs.
During parallel play, children play alongside one another rather than with one another. They may use similar toys, sit close together, observe each other, but not directly interact.
This is not a social failure it is a developmental bridge.
Parallel play supports:
- Social awareness without social pressure
- Early communication and language exposure
- Observation and imitation skills
- Emotional safety in group settings
For neurodivergent children, parallel play can be especially powerful. It allows them to be part of a social environment while maintaining their own boundaries, sensory comfort, and sense of control.
Why Parallel Play Matters for Neurodivergent Children
Many caregivers notice differences in how their children play and worry that their child is “behind” socially. In reality, play develops along many pathways.
Parallel play:
- Builds confidence before direct interaction
- Supports social readiness at a child’s own pace
- Encourages language development through listening and observing
- Creates positive associations with being around others
When children feel safe and unpressured, they are far more likely to take those next steps towards cooperative and interactive play in their own time.
How Toys Can Support Independent and Parallel Play
The right toys can make all the difference. Open-ended, hands-on educational toys naturally support both independent and parallel play without demanding specific outcomes.
At Edx Education, we design toys that act as stepping stones meeting children where they are and gently supporting development forward.
Toys that work particularly well include:
- Construction toys (blocks, cubes, gears) that children can use side by side
- Loose parts that encourage creativity without rules
- Maths manipulatives that invite repetition, sorting, and problem-solving
- Sensory-friendly resources that support regulation and focus
These toys allow children to play independently together building comfort, curiosity, and confidence in shared spaces.
Supporting Play Without Pressure
One of the most important roles we play as adults is to remove pressure. Children do not need to be coached into playing together. They need time, space, and the right environment.
You can support this by:
- Offering shared play spaces with individual resources
- Narrating play gently without directing it
- Allowing observation without expectation
- Celebrating focus, not forced interaction
Remember, social skills are built gradually, and play is the safest place for that learning to happen.
Play, Learn & Create Together and Apart
Through our toys, downloadable resources and the Play, Learn & Create with Edx Education podcast , we continue to advocate for play that respects children’s individuality.
Parallel play and independent play are not signs to worry about they are signs of development in action. When we understand and support them, we give children exactly what they need: confidence, readiness and a lifelong love of learning. Happy children don't need to be rushed, they need time to play.
By Heather Welch, General Manager Edx Education UK & author of Happy Children Play